Was accosted by trio of Norweegees outside town. They said there were there to deliver a beat down on me. And after several minutes of them doing so, I managed to set one on fire and beat the other two to death with my broke ass sword. One of them had this dope green that was all curvy and shit. Well, I guess it's my dope, curvy green sword now. Slowly dragged the rest of their stuff into town and traded it for moon sugar. Upon reflection, I realize I left the bodies in a little cuddle puddle

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Went to a dinner party today. After convincing a drunk to make a scene, I slipped away and suited up. For you see, I was actually there to break into the hostess's personal files. I forget why, some old Samurai lady told me to do it. Anyway, I happened upon a lovely pair of concealing robes that some of the guards were also wearing. I put them on to disguise myself and move about with impunity. However, I'm a six foot two lizard with feathers and big fuck off tail (ladies), so I was

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I met a talking dog today. (At this point I feel the need to clarify that I met an actual dog that could talk using his mind. This was not some weirdo in a dog costume.) The dog told me he had a falling out with his master and needed my help to get back together with him. (At this point I feel the need to clarify that the dog is the physical manifestation of a lesser-god's conscious. This was not a creepy sex thing) I followed the dog to a cave filled with vampires, all of whom I killed in self

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